No matter what you are worried about: choosing of a new gadget, problems in the relationship with a partner, or excessive demands of a new boss – writing help give you four ways to get rid of this feeling:
- change yourself and your behavior;
- change the situation;
- get out of the situation;
- change your attitude to the situation.
Undoubtedly, there are not any other options except keeping everything that way, but this is definitely not about solving the problem.
The list has ended. No matter how hard you try, you cannot figure out other ways of solution. And if you want to reflect on how to act, then I propose to take the following steps.
Algorithm of Actions
- Formulate the problem from the first person
You need to formulate your problem accurately. For example, if you have some problems in relationships with your partner, the formulation ‘He doesn’t care about me’ is not right. Instead of this, you may say ‘I feel unhappy because he doesn’t care about me’. And after that, the problem seems to be more soluble.
- Analyze your problem
You can change yourself and your behavior: review your requirements for the gadget, ask your partner to care about you or learn how to do what the boss requires.
You can change the situation: create a gadget that perfectly matches your criteria by yourself, talk with your partner about your feelings or make your boss fired.
You can get out of the situation: decide not to buy a gadget at all, break up the relationships or quit.
You can change your attitude to the situation: read the reviews on the forums and assess how much you need such a gadget; talk with a psychologist and find out how you can take care of yourself, to reconcile with the character of the boss and not pay attention to his or her demands.
- Think about which method suits you best
Perhaps you will understand that you would like to combine several of them, for example, change your attitude to the situation and then change your behavior. Or maybe you will first consider several ways to choose. This is normal.
- Having chosen one, two or even three ways, do a brainstorm
Take a sheet of paper and a pen. For each method write many possible solutions to the problem. At this stage, write down everything that comes to mind whether it is indecent, impossible, ugly, shameful and so on.
Imagine a person whom you respect and who would be able to help you. What solutions would he or she suggest?
Ask your friends for help: brainstorming in the company is more fun.
- Look at the list of all the solutions to your problem
Choose the most suitable for you in this situation.
- Answer yourself the following questions
What do I need to do to make this decision a reality?
What can prevent me and how can I overcome this?
Who can help me to do this?
What will I do in the next three days to start solving my problem?
- Take Action!
Without real action, all these reflections and analysis are a waste of time. And remember: A desperate situation is a situation, an obvious way out of which you do not like.